There is nothing that always happens in the same way! This cycle of chemo is very different from the others. My body has suffered much this time. Yesterday I was not even able to write something on FB simply because I could not focus and concentrate. Makes you think how lucky I have been so far. Also makes you see what you can expect. Whilst it is a temptation to worry about the future, it is also true that it is profoundly human!
But that does not stop me from staying in the present and the most important thing for me was not to close myself, because then I will feel sorry for myself, feel alone with many negative thoughts!!!
Instead I went to Mari Ponticaccia's birthday party! It was great for the smiles but also to continue to play together!! They had strawberries as well!! When you play together you smile! What more do we want!!
Actually that is just the tip of the iceberg. What we want really is the presence of Jesus amongst us, which we can only have if we really love one another, going beyond the little niggles, beyond the limitations, the feelings of inadequacies. The less I can do the more I remind myself of much God loves me! Jesus on the cross was capable of nothing apart from crying out: My God, my God why have you forsaken me!" He was not even loved by anybody except his mum. I want to love him in all the little pains and suffering in the present moment. Then a lot of things become very secondary:Can I eat,did I sleep, what is going to happen next? They don't go away, but first there is God, first there my greatest love. So I am back to DIM (Does it Matter)! Together we found the strength for me to go to the party!
But that does not stop me from staying in the present and the most important thing for me was not to close myself, because then I will feel sorry for myself, feel alone with many negative thoughts!!!
Instead I went to Mari Ponticaccia's birthday party! It was great for the smiles but also to continue to play together!! They had strawberries as well!! When you play together you smile! What more do we want!!
Actually that is just the tip of the iceberg. What we want really is the presence of Jesus amongst us, which we can only have if we really love one another, going beyond the little niggles, beyond the limitations, the feelings of inadequacies. The less I can do the more I remind myself of much God loves me! Jesus on the cross was capable of nothing apart from crying out: My God, my God why have you forsaken me!" He was not even loved by anybody except his mum. I want to love him in all the little pains and suffering in the present moment. Then a lot of things become very secondary:Can I eat,did I sleep, what is going to happen next? They don't go away, but first there is God, first there my greatest love. So I am back to DIM (Does it Matter)! Together we found the strength for me to go to the party!
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