Lucky to be loved

Talking together here at home I realized two very simple things:

1. I do not like pain! But I am consoled because also Jesus did not being crucified!
2. The fact of being sick should not become an excuse for letting myself go!

Jesus, first of all a big thank you for giving me to understand these things no alone but together with you!

The fact that pain is not nice, pleasant, does not mean that therefore I am exempted to love Jesus in my neighbour. I can not limit myself to saying in my heart I love GA, my best friend, and then do nothing!

I can not be the sick person that needs serving all round, but I have to be active, because love is also action. I find this also a little going against the current because a lot of people tell me to take it easy, not to worry. I have worked for and worried about others all my life, now its my turn to be served. I am not happy with that although it is well meant, because love does not count, and works out what is owed! In that case with God who would ever be right!

So how can I love in my situation? I thought about this in the last two days:

Remain immersed in God by living my experience together with others. For me this means watching less TV, which does not help me to be immersed in God. Maybe I could read more, which is not my strong point, but maybe it is an important way to love. In addition, instead of waking up and almost automatically make a programme full of things to do, also because I am used to that, I have to remember my first job is not do too much, even with my mind, but follow what the doctors say. It is what God want from me now.  If I am tired I rest, I accept my limitations with a new serenity. I think I have to use everything to be in God and with him. In this I have to find a new balance. Not easy, but my love for Jesus forsaken and living the present moment helps!

Communicate what God gives me to understand and to live as an act of love, disinterested in any echo or feedback and always aware that it is a gift, it is love made visible. I'm just the vehicle to go to God together, as someone else is the vehicle to organize, speak, think, listen, repair cars, etc. The instrument is not more important than the person who holds it: God.  I learned this again when I wrote a little experience to the parish priest and he did not answer me. If I love and expect something in return it is not the love from God!

I must remember the purpose of my life is to love: Now I can love more; in a different way, but still more.  Clean the house, do the shopping, even cook for myself as it it all I can do! But above all I can offer each day as an act of love for specific things, like the gathering in Rome and four people who are sick.

Jesus, thank you for being there! Thank you for my life, to be able to love you every moment here with others. I do not really understand how lucky I am to be loved in this way!