The expression and perhaps even the concept of "doing the will of God" as we say has always appeared to be very tight, very limited. It gave me a picture of a God, director of a movie or a theatre piece, who always tells everyone what they must do. We also find an excuse not to do one thing or the other because it was not the will of God. It's my view of things but I think it is nonetheless valid although perhaps not right! I always found it difficult to see that I had a choice. Then reading an something Emmaus said, made me realize that "doing the will of God" is much more dynamic. I was reminded that God is always new, his love for me is never expressed in the same way! Maybe my mental categories are not flexible enough to accommodate this love! I find that loving my neighbour in the present moment, being open to what God puts in front of me, I actually do what he wants: Loving him in my neighbour, choosing him above all. I see that this is only possible if I chose Jesus Forsaken as my all and I go with the other to God who loves us immensely!
So today the phrase "But if you don't love me, who will?" is very strong for me! After a sleepless night I got up feeling worse than ever during this period. So far, my condition has not brought me physical pain, thank God! But now the discomfort is very strong. The great temptation is to think immediately about myself: I have to stay in bed, I can not do anything, poor me, I call the doctor asking to give me something, etc, etc.. But no! Just share your state of health with the others without expecting anything and offer everything for the next meeting of the Council! In this offer there is also the pain of my physical limitation: I can no longer do what I used to. However, I am at peace because God certainly does not love me less for the possibility of reduced activity!
Therefore I carry on loving the person on the phone, being 100% in the present! Do some work aournd the house according to my ability, rest well, but above all always be open to what God puts in front of me. I am grateful to God that I am so well, that I can even fly now! That I can love him in every neighbor in the present moment, but most of all that I can go on my holy journey together with others to make a contribution. I can say even amid the suffering: Jesus let us make three tents, it is wonderful to be with you!
Hi Manfred. For a long time I put off having tests which I knew were inevitable. But sharing how you live your illness made me go to the doctor and begin the tests so we could live your journey together. Now I think of you and live for you when I am waiting for tests and results. We are one family travelling together and there will never be a border because God has put us all together in life and he will not separate us in death. You see, we make up for each others deficiencies. You gave me your courage! We share the journey.
ReplyDeleteWe all are gift for one another. That is how God has made us. I think often we don't see it that way, so any different way of doing things we interpret often as criticism, instead its simply to make us more complete. Always with you.
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