Today is the last day of the year and what a year it has been! I would never have thought that God would love me in such a unique way! On the face of it one can thinks it is all rather unfortunate given the illness. On the other hand if it was not for the tumour I am not sure whether I would have had the graces to be so close to him and to understand his love for me. Yes, all that happens to me is God’s love for me: Today I have to ask my companions for forgiveness, because when I got up I lost my patience, most of all with God. Inside I was fed up being ill, suffering yet another recurrence of the cold, being tired after a good night’s sleep, and not improving in getting stronger. My worries about regaining my strength for what might come was more important that loving God in my brother! The life I had given to God as gift of my love for him, that gift I had taken back and suddenly everything became dark, small without life, because everything became just me! I am confused. But the returning to live in communion with the others the subtle voice of love inside is amplified through the love of the others. What a nice voice which is so clear and brings peace. But the most amazing thing is that even in that apparent failure there is God’s love! Because Jesus died on the Cross he transformed pain and suffering into love. Where I see suffering and joy God sees love in both. I can begin again now in this present moment and every moment because God never ceases to love me. What a wonderful gift to receive, because it means that all those moments of pain and suffering in the past year I can fill with one act of love making a parcel of all those things and give them as a gift to Jesus on the Cross. My year becomes his and it is a year full of the God’s love for us. Today I dedicate to giving all my past year to Jesus on the Cross as a gift of love.
No comments:
Post a Comment