With Jesus what can go wrong!

Yesterday I had a surprise consultation, which should have been next week. For first time I saw my brain on the scan. I didn't realise it was so big!!! Anyway, the tumour is a tiny dot and again I realised how much this is God's gift when the consultant said that the fact the treatment is working is not to be taken for granted. In some cases it does not work. 

So far the plan of controlling the tumour works. It does not change the fact that it can come back any time! equally it seems that the trail drug us stimulating my immune system to fight the tumour cells. They have now agreed to extend the trial and bring the second stage forward. There are still a lot of questions and still research to be done, but again another gift from God. Throughout the afternoon God would look after me well by sending Mike L to be with me. What a gift. Despite me loosing the thread of the conversation at times, or getting tired because of the drugs etc, he was there always. It reminded me of God's love who is always there! Jesus a very precious gift. 

At times like this I am so much aware of the fact that I never got to this point because of my own merits! First of all, everything is a gift from God, it is his love for, as it was his love for me to receive this tumour. These occasions make me think of how important it is not to  mistake the gifts of God for God. Even above all this I still choose him as the love of my life. Jesus on the cross is the expression of that. And there was an immediate occasion. I was tired coming home and we had guests. An old friend whom I haven't seen for more than 30 years was there. I stayed with him simply to love despite the tiredness. Then a  long phone call with a friend. Concentrate on the present! Loose what I want to do. This morning I woke very tired. I got up although I could stay in bed all day! Secondly, because of my choice of Jesus on the Cross I can live this experience with others. I am so grateful for the gift of Maria and Stacey, because together we can live the present well. And when it goes pear shaped we start again. Important for me is that we can share the journey! With Jesus what can go wrong!

In the present moment this all is a great gift and there were lot's of smiles! Now more than ever it is important to stay in the present. I dedicate this progress to my friend Uli who died recently!

Jesus, thank you for all the gifts you give me in the present. Still I cannot get over the fact that you love us so much that you want to be with us!