Yesterday evening I was in a real black hole. I didn't want all this any more! For a minute or two it all seemed too much: The fact there is no cure, the fear of losing everything, why oh why? Then I went to bed tired.
Today I realised again how lucky I am! I have God! I have Jesus right next to me, and if I love and be outside myself I have Jesus in the midst. even in the very suffering i find Jesus: It is unbelievable! I was listening to some music I found on the internet. It was pure genius! How some people can produce such harmonies! It is a real gift! It was talking about God: You are beautiful! I leave you the link http://youtu.be/PJD_zfQ7cpk .
In the afternoon I had the most mind blowing visit from a staff member! We shared our experience of the love of God for each one of of us. There was a real meeting of minds! a real gift. Another gift was a phone call with an uncle who has been out of touch for nearly 20 years due to a falling out. We talked for over 30mins! It was so simple! Just pick up the phone! Why did it take me so long?
Now the questions have gone, I am smiling again enjoying each present moment. I am sure it was because I did not dwell on my fears and questions but did things for others. Once I was loving Jesus in my neighbour despite the suffering I was able to live the present moment. I am so glad I am human!
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