I am always amazed at the way God loves us and we continue to miss it, or better I continue to miss it! Yesterday the friend I mentioned went to heaven. The loss affected me in more than one way and for the best part of the day I was struggling. It was too close to the bone. The temptation was to keep it to myself because I don't want to be a burden, because nobody will be interested, because its confidential, because...because...because. Very good and plausible reasons not to communicated, not to be in communion with the others.
What happened? I am suddenly alone cut off by my own choice! Living the opposite I want to live not for any bad move on my part, but for really plausible reasons. I become agitated, lose the peace, do not live in the present, start worrying.
Then I think of the dream team not to unburden myself, but to put in common what God is doing right now within me. I want to love, that is not to expect anything in return. I need the dream team so that we can go together on this part of the journey, because together we are strong in loving in the present moment. But if God wants me to go it alone, that's fine too, because he come before anything else.
Suddenly peace returns. I live the present moment attentive to others. Then a friend arrives and we spend much talking, putting in common what God does in each one of us, the joys and the pains. He is a real gift for me!
I go to bed with Jesus amongst us, in peace. I wake up this morning having slept only four hours with a stomach upset due to the medication, feeling a bit grumpy! And I can offer all that for my friend's husband and child in South Africa.
Jesus, I thank you for being here in the present!
Well done Manf.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that this has been a failing of mine - only wanting to share the positives. This has sometime meant not being in contact with people for quite some time, thinking that I was protecting them, but really cutting myself off from communion. Thank you Manfred! I will try to communicate more.
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