I am discovering God in a new way, which makes me want to love him more! God is love, which has no beginning and no end! He has always loved me and he always will. Every moment he leaves me free to say yes to him, to his love for me, which is never the same. God the always new, who gives me the chance to always start again. What a love! I can love my neighbour in the present moment with a love like it, and when that love is returned, there is God in our midst, here! It’s not always easy, but I need not be perfect, I need to start again.
Today when I was told that the surgery will be November 26 and I should prepare by having complete rest, restrict activities, and reduce the risk of infections by not going near crowds, it felt like going into hibernation! Then I immediately thought of the possible adverse effects of the operation, such as paralysis, loss of memory, more side effects of drugs. While thinking about all these things, I realized that naturally I was getting angry, blaming others, asking questions, but most of all I became sad. Once I forgot about me returning to love the person with me in the present moment, I was at peace, had joy, and because it is was then that I was with God. I am truly me, when out of love I don’t look at me! Just as God, the father is truly the father only if he looks at the son! I can’t do this by myself and need God’s help usually expressed through my neighbour, and he always loves me.
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