Next steps

This is just a continuation of the communion of my little journey since the last time! The adventure continues and from a practical point of view I have now entered the second part of my chemo treatment. I have just finish the second round of that second part feeling quite rough for not sleeping and sickly. Now I will have three weeks to recover. My Scotland trip had to be postposned because of a detached retina, but it was great because with varying tricks I was able to eat discovering the beauty of smoothies! Last Tuesday I had a meeting with the doctor and he though I looked really well although he is worried about my weight loss. Against all the odds it was possible to see things clearly on the MRI scan which showed "improved appearances compared to the previous MRI of 12th March 12". This was unexpected good news! What a gift from God!!
Last Saturday I managed to run two workshops at the Bright Lights festival in Aylesford explaining a little how I live my faith in the light of pain and suffering. The echoes were very positive. The following day I was asked to update the couples who met in WGC.

I have to say that there are so many graces and gifts attached to this experience, that I am really moved by it. God is really at work despite me and my condition. But there are also moments of darkness, when I wished I was not ill, when I wished I could do more even around the house, when I am afraid of what is to come, and when I loose patience. However, God's love is never far away. Reading some answers given by Emmaus I understood again that, 

1. I only have the present moment. There will be regrets of the past and there will be fears for the future, but I only have the present to offer to God. 
2. I am convinced that God has not given me this tumour just for myself, but to live in communion with others. Hence the I need to love always, which means to be outside myself. My biggest help and model is Jesus on the cross, who despite his biggest suffering continues to be there for others, his mother and St John in the first place but also for us. 
3. I think God wants us to be completely free to love, to love in such a way that he can be amongst us first of all, before everything. For me this has been another important experience. The presence of Jesus gives peace and joy in the midst of what might seem a disaster. It means God amongst us!!!How great is that!
4. Giving my moments a purpose is my contribution to the life of the Opera.  This coming week I will offer everything for the Mariapolis preparations, For Pat and Mark in their particular part of their journey. 

Be sure of my unity. Unfortunately due to the high risk of infection I will not be physically present at the Mariapolis. But rest assured I will offer every moment for it! And we will always be united in the pact of unity.