The present moment

Today I have rediscovered the immense value of living the present moment I went with a friend to my GP to plan some practical steps in case of my rapid decline. He gave me a "just in case" prescription of various medicines. When we left the surgery I couldn't face losing my life! But then I realised why: because I don't trust in God's love AND because I wasn't living in the present moment loving the person next to me. Often, in the past I said to God: here is my life, it's yours, but soon I found out it is not just a formula! He takes me seriously! But he never leaves me alone and gives me all the help I need. It is like Mary under the cross who offered her son, who died! And besides God never says "no". He says "no" to our desires because they are in many ways focussed on loving ourselves than the other. I discovered that it is ok to complain to God so I found a psalm that described my situation quite accurately

psalm 102  

1 Hear my prayer, Lord;

    let my cry for help come to you.

2 Do not hide your face from me

    when I am in distress.

Turn your ear to me;

    when I call, answer me quickly.

3 For my days vanish like smoke;

    my bones burn like glowing embers.

4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass;

    I forget to eat my food.

5 In my distress I groan aloud

    and am reduced to skin and bones.

6 I am like a desert owl,

    like an owl among the ruins.

7 I lie awake; I have become

    like a bird alone on a roof.

8 All day long my enemies taunt me;

    those who rail against me use my name as a curse.

9 For I eat ashes as my food

    and mingle my drink with tears

10 because of your great wrath,

    for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.

11 My days are like the evening shadow;

    I wither away like grass.

12 But you, Lord, sit enthroned forever;

    your renown endures through all generations.

13 You will arise and have compassion on Zion,

    for it is time to show favour to her;

    the appointed time has come.

14 For her stones are dear to your servants;

    her very dust moves them to pity.

15 The nations will fear the name of the Lord,

    all the kings of the earth will revere your glory.

16 For the Lord will rebuild Zion

    and appear in his glory.

17 He will respond to the prayer of the destitute;

    he will not despise their plea.

18 Let this be written for a future generation,

    that a people not yet created may praise the Lord:

19 “The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high,

    from heaven he viewed the earth,

20 to hear the groans of the prisoners

    and release those condemned to death.”

21 So the name of the Lord will be declared in Zion

    and his praise in Jerusalem

22 when the peoples and the kingdoms

    assemble to worship the Lord.

23 In the course of my life[b] he broke my strength;

    he cut short my days.

24 So I said:

“Do not take me away, my God, in the midst of my days;

    your years go on through all generations.

25 In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth,

    and the heavens are the work of your hands.

26 They will perish, but you remain;

    they will all wear out like a garment.

Like clothing you will change them

    and they will be discarded.

27 But you remain the same,

    and your years will never end.

28 The children of your servants will live in your presence;

    their descendants will be established before you.”