Amongst the many things going through my head I was reflecting on the last judgement, and it can be quite frightening! Until you realise that what God is trying to tell me is to never loose sight of putting love of my neighbour before anything else. It was quite an exam of conscience, because it is actually very easy to loose sight of this with all kinds of subtle excuses. In the process of doing many things and being very busy I notice that the first thing to go is love for our neighbour in the present moment. Sometimes we need more time, sometimes we need less to love our neighbour in the present moment, but there are no short cuts. How often do we fleetingly say hello to someone on the assumption "You know what I mean", or You know what it is like". Often the most "holy" arguments are used, such as God surely want the Church or the Movement to go ahead and I am doing that in the moment by organising this event or that session. I am loving my neighbour by being active, I often heard myself say this without looking whether I had fallen out with someone over some practical aspect. So I ask myself what good is it organise anything if it gets in the way of my love for my neighbour?
I find that by loving my neighbour I get much more done! Besides is it mine or God's work.
Another thing that made me reflect was my way of praying! I found myself in the fortunate position of having to pronounce words very carefully due to my condition. If I speak fast I eat my words. Providential when talking to God, because suddenly the prayer regain their meaning, namely a conversation with God. Again, I found that I can't rush these things! I only gain seconds anyway!
All this lead me back to the present moment. In the present I have all the time in the world. If I forget myself and love my neighbour God loves me back a hundred times. This afternoon I took the time to go with someone to the stations to get a rail card I was cold and tired on my return but happy to have done this. God made me two enormous gifts: First a second phone call from an uncle who has not been in touch for over 30 years! Second, a surprise visit from a friend I had not seen for a long while. God is really good all the time.
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