Nothing to stop God to be amongst his people!

After a beautiful period of light and insight during which I have come to understand many things in my relationship with God now another part of the same trip seems to open up, very much full of temptations, temptations to retreat within myself thus excluding God.

I feel within me a certain rebellion: I do not want to be sick any more, with limited forces, do not want to be able to sleep, exposed to the effects of the drugs and spend another day in the hospital in preparation for a very dangerous operation. No, I would like to be in full strength, work and live for God and for the Movement, to give everything. Then in the morning, getting up in the kitchen I bang my head strong biting my lip and half asleep I lose my attitude to love my brother who stands beside me!

Then I realise that it is all me, about me, and where I am God cannot be, because two people cannot occupy the same space! God, out of love will always leave me free.

But “he who loves his life will lose it, and he who loses his life will have it”, I read somewhere. So, if I want to be what God has created me for, I have to be nothing, nothing out of love. Love gives always and therefore is not there, precisely because of its nature. Jesus on the Cross is for me the ultimate visible sign of love, giving himself totally he is the visible expression of God’s love for us, for me. He is the one I chose to give my life to in every moment, bitter or sweet, so that Jesus on the Cross is at least loved a little! This love constantly brings me out of myself to give, to live for the other, to be there for the other. It transforms everything and gives value to everything that it done out of love. So all the things I do or say are making up my relationship of love with my neighbour, because they are a gift! And If that love is mutual there is really nothing to stop God to be amongst his people!