God loves me

In these last few days I realised once again in a very powerful way how much we are in the hands of God, loved by him in each moment. When I went to hospital things turned out quite differently from what I might have expected and to start with I had a very limited way to communicate with the outside world as there was no internet or phone access. So, after the operation I found myself with the opportunity to be with God giving him everything, yes even the things I had recently understood and been given by him! God’s love is forever new, changing, never the same, but always faithful. 

Jesus Forsaken by the Father, who cries out: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” is the one alongside me! What a privilege to have a brother like that. And so in these days he asks all the “whys” contained in that big why. 

• Why do I remain so full of myself, attached to a pair of slippers when I am asked to give my life to God?

• Why is it such an effort for me to be rather than to do?

• Why am at this stage in my life?

• What is going to happen next?

Whilst in hospital I had a good conversation with a friend from Whitstable that made me realise in a very profound way that whilst it is deeply human to ask these questions, there is always the temptation to concentrate on being me! And that means shutting God out even unintentionally! I realised how much we need each other to be immersed in God, which we can if we love one another the way he loves us. The most beautiful thing about that visit was that we could look at everything knowing that we have to entrust it to God to sort out, because after all it is his work! 

So, I am together with many others on my journey to God, accompanied by his love in every moment. Everything that happens to me is an expression of God’s love for me! The success of the operation, the fact that I have to rest, the many occasions of living the present moment, the fact that there have been so many gifts and graces throughout these last nine months.